Writing Copy That Converts
Great deliverability means nothing if your emails don't get replies. Learn how to write cold email copy that gets opened, read, and responded to.
The Cold Email Formula
Proven Structure (AIDA)
A - Attention: Hook them in the first line with personalization or relevant insight
I - Interest: Show you understand their pain point or challenge
D - Desire: Present your solution and how it helps them specifically
A - Action: Clear, low-friction call to action
Subject Lines That Get Opened
The Golden Rules
- Keep it short: 30-50 characters (mobile screens cut off longer ones)
- Personalize: Use company name, recent news, or mutual connection
- Create curiosity: Hint at value without revealing everything
- Avoid spam triggers: No "Free", "Urgent", excessive punctuation
High-Performing Templates
✅ Question format: "Quick question about {{company}}'s Q4 strategy"
✅ Mutual connection: "{{mutual_connection}} suggested I reach out"
✅ Relevant news: "Thoughts on {{company}}'s Series B"
✅ Direct value: "Idea to reduce {{company}}'s churn"
Email Body Best Practices
Keep It Short
- Optimal length: 50-125 words (fits on mobile screen without scrolling)
- Paragraph length: 1-2 sentences max per paragraph
- White space: Use line breaks liberally for easy scanning
Opening Line
The first sentence determines if they read the rest. Make it count:
✅ Personalized: "I noticed Acme just launched your new checkout feature - congrats on the v2 release!"
✅ Relevant: "As a VP of Sales at a Series B SaaS company, you're probably dealing with scaling outreach while maintaining personalization."
❌ Generic: "I hope this email finds you well. My name is John and I work at..."
Value Proposition
Make it about them, not you:
✅ Benefit-focused: "We help SaaS sales teams send personalized emails at scale without hiring more SDRs. Our customers see 3-4x higher reply rates."
❌ Feature-focused: "We have AI-powered email personalization with GPT-4 integration and 47 different templates."
Call-to-Action
Make it easy and low-commitment:
✅ Specific + Easy: "Would you be open to a quick 15-minute call next Tuesday or Wednesday?"
✅ Question: "Does this sound relevant to your current challenges?"
❌ Too big: "Let me know when you're ready to schedule a 1-hour product demo with your entire team."
Complete Email Examples
Example 1: Direct Outreach
Subject: Quick question about Acme's growth plans
Hi Sarah,
I noticed Acme recently raised your Series B and is expanding into Europe. Congrats on the momentum!
As someone leading sales at a high-growth SaaS company, you're probably facing the challenge of scaling personalized outreach without hiring 10 more SDRs.
We help companies like yours send AI-personalized emails at scale. Our customers see 3-4x higher reply rates while reducing time spent on manual personalization by 80%.
Would you be open to a quick 15-minute call next Tuesday or Wednesday to explore if this could help your team?
Best,
John
Why it works: Personalized opening, identifies specific pain point, quantified value, easy CTA
Example 2: Value-First Approach
Subject: Idea to reduce Acme's cart abandonment
Hi Mike,
I was checking out Acme's checkout flow and noticed you might be losing conversions on the payment page (saw a few friction points that typically cause 15-20% drop-off).
Quick question: have you tested adding trust badges above the "Complete Purchase" button? Similar e-commerce companies saw 12-18% conversion lift with that simple change.
Happy to share a more detailed breakdown if you're interested - no strings attached.
Worth a quick chat?
Best,
Sarah
Why it works: Leads with value/insight, demonstrates expertise, no-pressure offer
Follow-Up Strategy
The 3-Email Sequence
Email 1 (Day 0): Initial Outreach Full value proposition with personalized opening
Email 2 (Day 3): Value-Add Share case study, relevant insight, or helpful resource. Don't repeat Email 1. Example: "Forgot to mention - we helped a similar Series B SaaS company increase reply rates from 2% to 8%. Here's how..."
Email 3 (Day 7): Soft Breakup Acknowledge they're busy, make it easy to say no, open door for future Example: "I know you're busy so I'll keep this brief. If timing isn't right, no worries - happy to reconnect in Q1. Just let me know."
Common Mistakes to Avoid
❌ Too Long Emails over 200 words get skimmed or ignored. Respect their time.
❌ All About You "We're the leading provider of..." → They don't care. Make it about their problems/goals.
❌ No Personalization Generic templates are obvious and get ignored. Use contact data.
❌ Aggressive CTAs "Schedule a demo now!" → Too pushy. Use soft asks like "Worth a quick chat?"
❌ Multiple Links More than 2 links = spam. Keep it simple with 1 clear CTA.
Testing & Optimization
A/B Test These Elements
- Subject line variations (question vs statement)
- Opening line (news-based vs pain point-based)
- Email length (short vs medium)
- CTA phrasing (question vs statement)
Track These Metrics
- Open rate: 15-25% is good for cold email
- Reply rate: 5-10% is excellent
- Positive replies: Focus on quality, not just volume
- Unsubscribe rate: Should be under 0.5%
💡 Pro Tip
Write like you're emailing a friend. Avoid corporate jargon, be conversational, and get to the point quickly. The best cold emails don't feel like sales emails - they feel like helpful suggestions from someone who genuinely understands your challenges.